User blog:The Flatwoods Monster/Slender Man vs Jeff the Killer - Epic Rap Battles of Horror Season 3 Premier
Well this is certainly sooner then the time difference between the last finale and premier, isn't it. And it's not the only premier we're seeing this week. (<3) WELP, I wanted to start the battles soon enough to have a Christmas special so ye, these are back for now. Anyways, to kick off a Season that features a lot of creepypastas, it's the new Freddy vs Jason - The Ominous Unknown Killer at deLarge, Jeff the Killer, goes 1v1 with Slender Man, the Operator, to see who's the creepiest of the creepypastas. Also, Man vs Child or something like that. Insert other obscure unrelated connection here. This suggestion comes from TKandMit who probably was joking when he suggested it, but I don't care because it gave me a comment to use for the finishing picture (:*) He'll also be guest starring in the next episode! One last special thanks to Coupe for the awesome title cards, per the usual. That aside, you may now begin to read, as well as kick off the first/third season of Epic Rap Battles of Horror. Enjoy. Cast Markiplier as Slender Man BaptismOnFire as Jeff the Killer Markiplier as Wilferd Warfstache (Cameo) Grace Helbig as Jane the Killer (Cameo) Grace Helbig as Slender Woman (Cameo) EpicLLOYD as Hoody (Cameo) Nice Peter as Masky and Ticci Toby (Cameo) EpicLLOYD as Eyeless Jack (Cameo) Instrumental - Suit & Tie Introduction Announcer: (0:22) EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HORROR! VS! BEGIN! The Battle Jeff the Killer: (0:33) RAHAHAHAHAHA! ''' It’s time to play, Slendy, but you’ll soon find that this killer is immovable! You’re unusable and removeable, but I’ve been itching to make you beautiful! I’m unlawful, your novel depicts walking fossils while mine was thoughtful! I’m an Ominous Unknown Killer at Large! You’re truly SomethingAwful! Hear that? You’re completely incapable of speech, but I’ll really make you screech! With these hot disses that will burn your flesh more ravantly than vodka and bleach! This guy’s famous off of a P.C. Game!... yet only now people see he’s lame? Well forget that, now he’s screwed, even Eyeless Jack sees you’re gonna lose! You should have teleported out of here! I’ll leave you deceased like Randy, Keith and Troy! Because this tentacle mess has a bad HABIT of only haunting little girls and boys! You against me in a battle’s the most nonsensical thing I’ve seen next to Slender Space! But this disgrace has entered my place! '''LET’S CARVE A SMILE ON THAT BLANK FACE! Slender Man: (1:06) So it seems an adolescent peasant high off of antidepressants wants his bones twisted, Well step into Slender Woods and you’ll find yourself witness to something vicious, Faceless and patient, I’ll stalk you from distances until you collect all eight of my disses, So you’d better keep those burned eyelids open, blink just once, and you’re bound to miss this… I’ll send a dropout packing his sliced snout to the schoolyards where he larks about, Your story was a cliched mistake, I was only waiting for a Skeleton To Pop Out You’re only known by fat flops on laptops, I’m the worldwide famous boss, And I’ll sprinkle some parmesan on your intestines, call it a nice bowl of Creepy Pasta I’m unstoppable, and this big pot of bull will be torn into specks of dust particles, Joker knock-offs like yourself would get paid minimum wage at my Carnival It’s a pity, this sissy’s stories and rhymes are proven just as equally shitty, But what more can I expect from a story that was taken off the wiki? Jeff the Killer: (1:40) Stick to operating, Daddy LongLegs, because now defeat is your only option, Not a problem, I’ll stick this rhyming knife into your gut three times like back in Wisconsin! So now you can join my kill count amongst my very own mother and father, I’ll do the honors and slaughter your followers whose lives aren’t even worth twenty dollars! My creations are a beauty! I’d see a goofy spooky like you being chased by Scooby! Your mythos are fictional and despicable, take you down faster than your movie! Slender Woman blew me and Wilferd Warfstache wants to interview me! You said you’d bruise me! Lose me! To get through me? You LIED TO ME! Slender Man: (2:02) This freak is gonna weep when I leave him and his fangirls bequeathed and deceased, You finally got your wish, you pale-faced creep, cause your story made me Go To Sleep I’ll leave you ticking worse than Toby’s tourettes, when I show you that my claws slay, And leave your face even uglier than it is, worse than your half-assed cosplays! I was slaying little girls like you before your author was even born, kid, Ask Tribetwelve, they know my lyrics sting EverymanHYBRID mad like MarbleHornets You’re no glitch in the system, just a failed villain killing with a knife from his kitchen, My face will be the last thing your eyes will see - but to me, you’re just another victim Jeff the Killer: (2:24) You’re miserable! I’m invincible! Don’t try being critical when it’s plainly visible You think you can beat ME? I find Jane’s threats even more considerable! Savagely ending a tumor of a child abuser, because I’M THE HORROR GENRE’S FUTURE! but all YOU are is a DEAD HORSE beaten for humor BY OUTDATED YOUTUBERS! Slender Man: (2:34) Say I’m outdated? My time here has just begun, face it, you’re being outdone, So just try to run, to me, it’s all just a part of the fun, In Liu of recent happenings, I’ll feast on your insides and pasty skin for supper, Let the darkness overwhelm you, and reunite you with your brother... Announcer: (2:46) WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EPIC RAP BATTLES... ' ' OF HORROR, SEASON 3! Outro Who won? Jeff the Killer Slender Man Category:Blog posts